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From shame to pride: How volunteering with young people helped me reclaim my identity
Published: October 23, 2025
After four years of volunteering with young people and sharing his story, Rich Bartlett reflects on his time as a Just Like Us ambassador, from struggling with shame to finding his voice.
For much of my life, shame lingered in the background. It was there when I spoke, afraid my voice might sound too high-pitched. It was there when I walked, each step calculated to avoid drawing attention. It was there when I hesitated to join conversations, worrying that my words might betray the parts of me which I worked so hard to hide.
Shame wasn’t just a feeling; it was an ever-present reminder of my sense of not fitting in. Growing up, I learned to wear a mask, acting in ways that felt safe, even if it meant hiding my true self.
When I first began volunteering with Just Like Us, I saw it as a way to give back to young people. Just Like Us’ research has shown that 3 in 5 (60%) of LGBT+ young people had no LGBT+ role models when they were growing up, and I wanted to change that. What I didn’t expect was how deeply it would challenge the mask which I had worn for so long.
It started with school talks where I shared my story with students, and these quickly became a powerful way to connect with young LGBT+ people and foster understanding. Standing in front of a classroom, I shared the challenges I had faced and the lessons I had learned. The most impactful moments often came during the Q&A sessions after our talks, when pupils felt comfortable enough to ask raw and honest questions. These conversations revealed how much representation, and openness could mean to those navigating their own journeys.
Working with my fellow volunteers to prepare and deliver these talks was transformative. Together, we crafted presentations that highlighted the strength and resilience of our community. This collaborative effort underscored the power of shared experiences and collective action. By delivering school talks, I saw how storytelling could break down barriers, challenge misconceptions, and inspire a journey from shame to pride.
In the process, as well as through my own reading, I began to understand that shame isn’t static; it evolves and shifts depending on the spaces we inhabit. Moving into affirming environments allowed me to see shame through a different lens: a reflection of the world’s biases rather than my own shortcomings. These experiences helped me recognise how deeply shame can be tied to the fear of judgment and how, with understanding and self-compassion, it can begin to unravel.
One of the most significant lessons I am taking away from my time volunteering as a Just Like Us ambassador is that shame thrives in silence and isolation. Pride isn’t about erasing shame entirely, it’s about facing it, acknowledging the parts of ourselves which feel fragile, and holding them with care. Pride grows in connection; in the support we find within a community of others who have felt the weight of shame and refused to let it define them.
Just Like Us taught me that pride isn’t something achieved in isolation. It’s a collective act, rooted in mutual support and solidarity. Through the projects we worked on and the stories we shared, I came to understand that, for me, building pride is about creating spaces where others can feel seen and valued too.
How to start volunteering with Just Like Us
Just Like Us, the LGBT+ young people’s charity, runs training events for new volunteers throughout the year, in locations across the UK and online.
The next training events will take place in Glasgow (15 – 16 November 2025) and in London (29 – 30 November 2025).
Volunteering with Just Like Us involves providing vital LGBT+ representation to young people in schools, but it also means developing skills, community, mentoring and improving your wellbeing.
92% of ambassadors say that they feel more empowered since volunteering with Just Like Us, and 91% agree that Just Like Us has had a positive impact on their wellbeing.
Sign up now to find out more about volunteering, and hear about upcoming training dates.
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